My Karma is off.
Two weeks ago I ran over a dog.
I haven't gone into detail with my family, only with a couple of my colleagues. And that was just yesterday. I know there are many, many things worse in this life. But it affected me. And now I believe my Karma is off. I have fallen, tipped over a full glass of water at a restaurant, my car tire has a slow leak, my favorite colleague gave her notice yesterday, I keep breaking things, I have missed a couple of deadlines at work (I never miss deadlines), one of my doctors retired and his replacement, who is 12 years old, wants to stick a needle in my neck. I could go on, especially about happenings at work but that would be unethical. I will only say I recently had an occasion where I had to gag.
I should share that the dog survived. I called 9-1-1 who sent animal control. Both were kind people. I assume, but did not follow up, that the dog was put down.
Outside my Arlington office window I see stray dogs almost every day. They likely are neglected and abandoned. I am sure some, too, are simply lost after escaping from a loving home as my dogs have done. One time our 2 beagles were gone for 3 days. We found them living with a lovely woman about 3 miles from our house. Would you believe she let them sleep on her bed?? A sainted woman.
The stray dogs I see from my office window, especially in the summer, are seeking refuge from the heat under the oaks in the city park across from my work. A few months ago, in fact, I began carrying water and dog food in my car for these animals.
Now I am responsible for killing one.
Petal, my hairstylist and a wise woman, says I should go sit in the middle of a field and center myself. I might. I am thinking I have to volunteer for some animal group. A resuce. The dog was a mutt with pitbull features. Maybe the pitbull rescue. I haven't decided. I have decided it has to be soon. This weekend. I am running out of time. At least that's the way I feel.
I need my Karma back.
1 comment:
You need to reflect on all the good and wonderful things you have done. You have devoted your career to helping others. You have instilled great values to your kids(at least 2 anyway)who give back every day and don't get paid enough for it. Bad things happen, but this isn't your bad karmic retribution. This is just an example of how sometimes shitty things happen to good people. Don't focus on the bad karma. Focus on the good. You have a gorgeous, healthy grandbaby, a wonderful family and great friends. You are always thinking of others. This didn't happen because you are a bad person or somehow deserved it. If you deserve bad karma, I am scared of what everyone else is going to be getting.
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