Thursday, July 7, 2011

Jenny Craig !*@#%

I am in week 2 of Jenny Craig.  Not doing that well.  A lot of cheating.  Too much cheating.  I must do better.

My pledge as of now: NO MORE DRUMSTICKS.  As in ice cream.  They're not Jenny Craig legal. 

Sigh. 

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Are you pregnant? Nunya!

Are you pregnant?
Was it planned?
Are you pregnant?
When are you having children?
Are you pregnant?
You are HUGE! I hope you are having that soon.
Are you pregnant?

If you are female and of a certain age, you have been asked these questions.  My own two daughters get them weekly.  Weekly!

We are living in a time of low standards.  It used to be we held our thoughts out of common courtesy.   Not any more.  We have an opinion, we share it.  We have a feeling, we share it.  Who has time to weigh the pros and cons of blurting out whatever we are feeling or thinking in any given moment?  That would be ... polite?

We need a movement, people.  Something to counteract this theft of privacy.  I can see it now: pop-up ads, billboards, bumper stickers, t-shirts, you get the idea.   A movement recognized by one word so powerful it would stop people from probing into areas in which not invited or wanted. 

What word?  Muzzle!  Don't!  No!  Shut!  Hmmm.  This is going to take some thought.

How about nunya, short for none of your business!  Here's how it would work:

"Are you pregnant?"
"Nunya."  Spoken without a hint of judgment or emotion, but with confidence and the satisfaction that you have stood firm. With that one word, you are able to silence the attack on your privacy. 

It would take a lot of practice and patience, but I think it would be worth the effort.  People of all ages and both genders must join the movement.

Another example:

"How long has your daughter (sister/brother/son) been married?"
"Five years."
"They don't have children? When are they having children?"
"Nunya!"

It could work.