Lost 4 pounds already!!!

OK. About a month ago we started buying the Costco brand of weight loss shake. I need something in the morning but I run out of time to eat because I have to wait 30 minutes after I take my thyroid med. The shake has been a good substitute. Paul even has taken to it. Good taste. Filling. Curbs appetite. Guess who has lost 4 pounds already? Not me. Paul. That's right. He's been saying the last couple of days how his love handles are shrinking. Then last night he says he's lost 4 pounds! He's at his desired weight. He believes it is the shake every morning. I tell him how happy I am for him only because it was the right thing to say, not because I really felt it. But, I am happy for Paul. And his success gives me hope by association.

Lesson reinforced: Never give up the fight if it's worth winning.

Mean people are mean

So we were having a late breakfast at La Madelines yesterday. Me, Paul, Andrea, Jack and Addie. We are in the serving line and this giant white-haired blowhard (I didn't know he was a blowhard at the time) walks up to the counter area just ahead of us. I look over just as he's shouting "give me my receipt back!" and grabs a receipt out of a server's hand. The server then hands him a dish of something. The super tool then hisses (I have always wondered what it sounded like when someone hisses, now I know), "Assholes... you're all little monkeys." He takes his food and walks off. We're all kinda standing there in disbelief. Over food? This is a guy who obviously doesn't miss a meal. These poor kids behind the counter... one appeared in shock. Color drained. If a white person's color can actually drain as we really don't have color. The other kid, African American, seemed to take it better. hmmm.

Lesson learned: Never, ever take personally name calling or insults coming from a jackass.

Lucky me

My computer's motherboard is sick, it has been for some time now. I couldn't cut and paste something to Jenny via email yesterday. In December, it crashed. I couldn't do anything with it. Nothing. Then, miraculously, it revived itself. Someone turned it on for the 20th time and there it was. So I was investigating those little netbooks yesterday, worried that my motherboard was on its last leg. Found one at Best Buy for $300. Did NOT want to spend money. Paul and I have agreed that we are going to stick to a budget and aggressively pay down debt. He has been shopping at Kroger instead of Costco for his part. For my part, I have stopped buying new clothes. So didn't really want to spend the money, but ...

So Paul comes with to Best Buy and we end up coming home with pretty much the same computer I have been using for 6 plus years: my third Toshiba, updated of course and clean and fast and beautiful. I love my new computer. Oh, and about the netbooks, they are way too small. We ended up paying twice what a netbook would have cost. I am very lucky.

Gotta go. Paul is back from washing his car. I promised him we could go to Costco this morning.

2 issues - OK 3 but I can't tell you the third

My first issue today is I think I have lost the temporary crown I got on Wednesday morning. How is it possible I don't know? I wish I could answer that without sounding like an idiot. The real question is: where did it go? Of course I must have swallowed it? Yuk. When? How is it I didn't know? I just left an embarrassing message with my dentist. They won't be back in the office until Monday. Today is Friday. I can live with that.

My second issue is my self-loathing. Self-loathing because last night I ate an entire roll of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. There are 2 rolls in every box. I ate ONE roll. (Like that makes me disciplined). Damn the Girl Scouts. OK. Damn me. Hey, maybe that's when I lost the crown .... when I was in the thin mint cookie haze. The shame. The shame.

Mary

New Addie pictures

Going to hell in a hula hoop

Just heard that expression going to hell in a hula hoop. I have no idea why hula hoop, but I like it and think it is appropriate for what's going on. I'm talking about Sarah Palin (again) and her new job with Fox. God help us. Maybe her overexposure will reach the point of saturation and people will finally say no more, enough is enough.

Truth is, I am tired of all of all the talking heads on TV. It's like the Steve Carell moment in Anchorman where he is shouting "loud noises." I wish we could have a moratorium on commentating. Of course that wouldn't set well with the First Amendment. I have initiated my own moratorium and no longer tune into MSNBC. I sometimes watch CNN, listen to BBC on my satellite radio occasionally. I watch local news, PBS and read local newspapers, often online. I never go to the blogisphere, except for my own blog of course.

What I resent most is how most talking heads speak with absolution and authority. As if they drank the truth potion and are all knowing. This most recent spin on terrorist attacks. By just saying there were no attacks during Bush's watch, by just putting it out there, the message becomes truth for so many. It's propaganda at its best - or should that be worst? The loving masses then repeat the propaganda with the same absolution and authority. Yuck.

My hope is that we need to experience this McCarthyism to get to the other side. Run through the muck before we can be cleansed. Who will wash off the dirt? Really smart young people. There are some great kids out there. Those who are doing humanitarian work. Those who are taking the road less traveled. Those who are listening to their own inner voices and tuning out the blather coming from unethical and immoral people seeking fame, fortune and power.

I have hope in the next generation. I have met many of these young people who know the importance of caring about people other than themselves. They will have to be the ones to step up and save us from going to hell in a hoola hoop. I hope. It would be nice to tune into a news talk show without a mention of Sarah Palin.

Mary

20-10 or Two Thousand 10?

New decade. Holy cow. Really? Whew. This year's resolutions carry that much more weight. OK here goes:

1. Lose weight by eating better and exercising. Paul has to be on board. I know that it's ultimately up to me and I take full responsibility. These two statements are incongruous but they also are necessary.

2. Read more good literature. How? No computer after 7 p.m. Further, I will enlist my brilliant niece Kara Lochridge to help me with book selection. Also continue to get ideas from my mother Shirley Lochridge, a prolific reader of good books.

3. No computer games after 7 p.m. See resolution #2.

4. Walk Princess. Horrible to admit that she doesn't get to walk as much as the other two dogs, Baxter and Mika. Princess gets so hyper and then she gets loud, which sets off Baxter. So my pledge this year is to walk Princess by herself rather than leave her home when we take the other two.

5. Watch less TV. For some reason I seem to know just about all the TV shows other people are watching. If someone says, did you see ....? I am the one in the room who says yes. Shows I will watch include: Survivor, Glee, Modern Family, Brothers & Sisters and reruns of The West Wing. News and sports don't count (like vegetables and fruits). I can watch (eat) all I want.

6. Set aside meditation/spiritual time each day. I really need to work on this one this year/decade. Breathing, stretching, pray-ishing.

7. Put in 100 percent at work every day. This will be easier than some of the others. I think I pretty much put in 85 percent each day, so another 15 percent should be doable.

8. Live in the moment as much as possible. It's the new thing: mindfulness. Stop feeling bad about the past and less time worrying about the future. Really stop and smell the roses.

9. Write more. I want to step up my game here and the only way to do that is to write just about every day. I don't want it to be one of those things that years from now I kick myself for not doing. It takes discipline, so I guess what I am saying is I want to be more disciplined.

10. Monitor my words. I am a grandmother now so I need to choose my words more carefully. At least practice it this year for when Addison and future progeny can understand the words. Have you seen that commercial where the family is at a restaurant and the dad sends some food flying and says "shit!" So then his two little kids do something goofy and each time they say "shit!" Of course the word is bleeped. So cute. I can totally see that happening.

I also want to monitor my words for content. Be truthful in what I say, so that I become the kind of person that people can trust to know my word is good.

OK people reading this (both of you), it's your turn.
Mary

Happy Birthday Paul!

For his birthday today, Paul made breakfast for me and lunch for Andrea and Jack. What's wrong with this picture?

Nothing. Because that's what Paul loves to do. Cook and then watch how much people enjoy his food. It's very sweet.

Paul also got to go to Costco today, play Wii with John Trommater in New Jersey, and play Yatzee with me (and win). Paul also got to go to Academy where he got some targets for his BB gun. Oh, and he also got a new Wii game from Andrea and Jack: miniature golf. Paul has talked to his out of town kids, Jenny and John, and he has gotten multiple cards and ecards. My mom also emailed me and told me to tell Paul happy birthday.

Pretty damn good.

His favorite birthday gift came from me, of course. As previously mentioned, his awesomely cool sunglasses. Paul continues to be naturally suave. A hot red sports car and handsome shades don't hurt the look.

Mary

Well intended

Some lies are OK, right? Telling people what they want to hear is not only necessary but it is civilized behavior. Little white lies are what keep the planets aligned. That's how important they are.

I bought Paul some awesome sunglasses today for his birthday (two days from today). He looks swell in them. (NOT a lie). I was thinking about the last time I bought him nice sunglasses. The kids were still in elementary school and we all spent a few days in New Braunfels, Tx., mostly playing in the rivers there, floating in tubes. Paul was not prepared for a rapid chute along one of the floats and his brand new sunglasses were lost forever to the Comal River. Ever since, he's worn cheap and ugly (again, NOT a lie) sunglasses. Until today.

Anyway, recalling Paul losing his expensive sunglasses triggered another memory. The time I sunk a Rolex watch into Canyon Lake. Ouch. After 8 years, it still hurts. What happened is, I was set to jump off cliffs into the water, but at the last minuted, thought I needed to take the Rolex off first. So, thinking - or not thinking - it would be OK to drop the Rolex into the boat from atop the cliff... a straight and easy toss down, I slipped off the watch and called to Paul below to catch it. In horror, I watched the tail end of the watch clip the boat windshield inches from Paul's hand and slide slow motion off the boat and into the deep, deep water. Canyon Lake used to be an actual canyon before the dam was built.

The thing is, the watch was a gift from my dear, dear friend Diane (who does not read this blog thank god). Did I tell her? Hell no. My lovely Paul found a similar Rolex on Ebay and gave it to me for a graduation gift in 2004. They are truly nice watches. Rolex. I didn't need or want one to begin with, but after wearing one for a couple of years, I got used to it. I liked it.

So I visit Diane soon after getting the new watch. I wear it, thinking it will never come up. Wrong. First stop we make after she picks me up at the Des Moines airport is a trendy local coffee shop. Not a Starbucks. We get our drinks and don't miss a beat in the conversation. Out of the blue, Diane says, "Can I see your watch?" Like the obedient friend I am, I whip it off like I have nothing to hide and hand it over. It has been a couple of years since she has seen the watch. On a previous visit, I didn't have a Rolex to wear so I made some lame excuse that I forgot the watch. I attempt to make conversation (distraction) while Diane examines the watch. She looks confused and says it doesn't look like she remembered. I totally brush her off and continue the conversation (distraction). It worked. She didn't say another thing about the Rolex and hands it back to me.

I admit I don't have the courage to tell my good friend the truth. Oh, I threw it into a lake and it sunk. I always felt Diane's gesture of giving me something so nice was, well nice. Urban Dictionary defines white lie as a lie with good intentions. It's good I lied to my friend. I'm a good person because I lied to my friend. I should get a frickin medal because I was thinking of my friend, not me. My friend's feelings are way more important than anything I might be feeling. Like guilt.

Mary

My beloved Grandmothers

That's my Grandma Esther Lochridge talking to me and Grandma Madge Eskelson next to Paul at our wedding in 1978. I loved them both very much (see previous post: Brain Power).

Brain power

My daughter tells me my granddaughter spent the last couple of days with her OTHER grandparents. I gotta say I didn't care for that. Jealous? Yep. Selfish? Sure. But I think it needs to be said and even examined - for the sake of increasing my brain power.

I just read in the New York Times that our middle age brains are still developing, still building new pathways. Yay!! Recent research has come up with an odd finding, one I'm not sure I completely understand (URL to article attached). As I understand it, the idea is to build on existing pathways - not so much a renovation of pathways, but rather an addition to long-lost or forgotten pathways. Stuff you've forgotten can be accessed and even enhanced by challenging your assumptions, something called disorienting dilemma. Learning something new. Examples given: understand multiple views/perspectives, learn a new language, take a different route to work. Stop being a creature of habit - unless you're happy with a weakling brain.

Ok. Challenging assumptions. I should be happy that my granddaughter has multiple grandparents. Hmmm. I understand that grandchildren are different than children. I didn't have to share my children, but I have to share my grandchildren. My kids didn't have grandparents in their daily lives. My granddaughter lives within an hour of both sets of grandparents. Holidays have to be shared with both sets of grandparents. That's a foreign notion. Maybe I could exert my great influence and power - demand that my granddaughter be allowed only to visit me. That might not go over very well.

When I was a child, I had a good relationship with both my grandmothers. Not so much my grandfathers. My maternal grandfather died when I was about 8. I don't remember him other than when he was sick at our house, my mom made him bread soaked in warm milk, served in a bowl. My paternal grandfather was likely too busy a lot of the time to pay much attention to me. That's my assumption that I won't challenge today.

My grandma Esther Lochridge was a wonderful woman, really. Pastor's wife. She lived for her husband, Frank, and her two sons, my father Frank Jr. and uncle John, who recently died. I spent a lot of time with my Grandma L. A couple of times, I got to stay a whole 2 weeks, just me, with my grandparents. Grandma L's sister lived in the same town - Mitchell, SD - so I also got a lot of attention from Aunt Cloe as well. They made me feel special. We did a lot of every day stuff: breakfast, wash dishes, make beds, lunch, wash dishes, cook dinner, wash dishes. I don't remember TV there. I had a friend in the neighborhood and was allowed to play at her house. Of course there was church on Sunday. My grandmother was very particular about the way she kept her house. That's for sure. A place for everything and everything in its place. I loved her very much.

My grandma Madge Eskelson seemed to be the polar opposite of Grandma L. Grandma E was a teacher, married to a teacher. My grandfather also was superintendent of schools in a small South Dakota town. After WWII, he and my grandmother moved the family (including my namesake Aunt Mary) to Pierre where my grandfather spent 16 years at the then Department of Rehabilitation, the agency formed to assist soldiers. My grandparents were staunch Republicans. I know this because my Grandma E actually hit me when I told her I had registered Democrat. It hurt her more than me. My Grandma E was smart. She tutored kids in reading when she was in her 90s! She also was funny. The picture that comes to mind when I think of her is her laughing. I thought she was fun. I loved her very much.

In my office, I keep a treasured picture of my grandmothers together, cooking at my childhood house on that rare Thanksgiving we all were together.

So, what assumption am I challenging today, what's my disorienting dilemma? Sharing my granddaughter. I don't want to, but I guess as I think about it and recall my own two beloved grandmothers, it's the way it's supposed to be. For all of us.

Hey. Maybe this brain workout really does work. I challenged an assumption, visited old pathways and learned something new. I actually feel better about sharing my granddaughter. Not completely. But better. That's progress.


http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/03/education/edlife/03adult-t.html?em