Day 14

Ok, if I stay on this vegan diet, I really need to pick up some beeno. I mean you can only blame it on Baxter when she's actually in the same room. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

Day 13

Paul is home safe and sound. His 1030 p.m. flight from Miami got in closer to 1 a.m. Apparently the computers at customs crashed, so the plane waited for those passengers who still needed to clear customs. Including Mike Modano. He and Paul chatted while waiting for their luggage. Nice guy (Mike). I waited with Mika outside the baggage area, but could see Paul through window wall - talking to Mike Modano.

Also while waiting with Mika, a young woman comes out to smoke. She says something like, "Is this the dog that is on the bottom of your pool?" Paulie. He so missed his dog. Can you just see him talking about Mika? The young woman, too, has a border. Mika drew a little more attention. A little girl pointed to her, another lady, also a border owner, tried to get Mika just to look at her. Nope. She was not liking the airport and especially did not like the loud exhaust blasts from the buses. What she did like was seeing Paul. She wagged her body. So did Paul. Wagged his body.

We are feeling a little hung over today. I am anyway. Couldn't get right to sleep. Oh well. It's my Friday and tonight I get to hang with Addie!!

Happy Thursday everyone.

day 12

Note to self: Don't eat all the vegan cookies. It will make you feel sick.

Day 11

Early evening and I am making vegan chocolate chip cookies. They definitely are not as sweet as Paul's cookies. (did that sound dirty?) I like them (the vegan cookies). Damn, once my mind goes into the gutter, I can't get out. Better close this and post.

Sweet dreams (in a very clean way).

Day 10

I had a ton of energy yesterday for some reason. Blogged, met Andrea and Addie for break fast, walked Mika, mowed the side yard, sawed and bundled large tree branch, cleaned a little around the house, went to Whole Foods and found natural yeast flakes. Not bad for a Sunday.

Happy Monday morning!

Day 9

Jen, Michael and Lucy have been staying with me all weekend. It's been lovely. They are going to the Ranger's game today and back to Austin. Their big, big news is they are buying a house in Leander. It's in that inbetween period. Saturday it was inspected, so they should hear this week if there's anything to change their minds.

The location sounds perfect, a block from a park that has everything: disc golf, pools, sand volleyball, biking and walking trails. They will be residents of Williams County. All this new stuff to learn will be fun. Corner lot. 80s home with big oak trees.

My babies are growing up. Thank goodness.

Day 8

Gorgeous, gorgeous weather.

Lucy kept me up last night. She cried outside my room to be let in. I told her "go away!!" Got up with her a couple of times. Then pointed up the stairs and said "go!" She did. For about 2 minutes. Just enough time for me to lay back down, get comfortable, let out a heavy sigh... and there she is again, crying outside my closed bedroom door. The other 3 dogs all voted and said she couldn't come in. My hands were tied.

Lucy is a cute dog. Not as cute at 1 in the morning.

Day 7- I wish I drank or that pot was legal

Changing the way you eat inevitably changes other habits. It's like CBT therapy (cognitive behavioral therapy). Pick one of the following to change about a problem: the way you think about it, the way you feel about it or change a behavior and your problem is solved. Problem as in wanting to hurt yourself or someone else (most often your partner), thinking some one's out to get you (often true), being addicted to (fill in the blank), etc. It's domino effect. If you change the way you think about your partner, you change the way you feel and behave toward that person. If you change the way you discipline your child, you change the way you feel and think about yourself and your relationship with your child. Get it?


My problem (one of them) is emotional eating. That is to say the eating is a symptom of my emotional sickness. My behavior was set long ago in response to insecurities: I am nervous (eat), they don't like me (eat), I don't like me (eat). I don't have anywhere near those low levels of insecurities, but I still emotionally eat. So, my behavior began as a way to soothe my feelings, and turned into a full-blown addiction. That's the way I choose to see it anyway. My food of choice has been sweets and carbs. Have you ever found yourself just mindlessly eating? No? I do it all the time (see previous posts My tummy hurts, Damn you Paul). So, in day 7, I find my self finally challenged. This part of the vegan venture becomes my moment of truth.

I had a stressful couple of days at work. There's really no one I can talk to about it. I have to be a big girl. Last night I fretted. Did I say the right things? Did I handle that correctly? Horrible events that don't involve me personally of course, but when it involves the vulnerable... you get the idea.

This morning I am feeling a little hung over. Emotionally hung over. Normally, I would go for eggs and toast. Gooey eggs. Maybe some jelly on toast. Then I would think I really want peanut butter and honey on toast so I put two more pieces of bread in the toaster. I tell myself that I will not eat much the rest of the day. First lie. I get busy on something and by 11 I am starving. I tell myself all the activity has burned off just the correct amount of calories so I CAN eat lunch. Second lie. I am fatigued after eating, so I take a nap. Paul then about 5 or 6ish begins making something wonderful for dinner. I tell myself I have to eat or it will hurt his feelings, besides I am starved again. Third lie. Paul has made a cake/cookies/cupcakes. I eat them. They are good.

As I tell my clients, you can't just drop an addiction without replacing it with something else. I think this blog has to be, for now, my something else. I can't drink, not because I'm against alcohol, but because I just don't like it. Pot is not legal. Besides, I would really hate that dragging feeling. I like energy. And I do feel I have more after 6 days. Just not this morning. I'll get there. There are other sources of energy for me: my doggies, my granddaughter, my kids, my husband (not so much in that order), and I even have a couple of friends. Jenny and Michael are arriving tonight for the weekend. I will think about that today.

Until then... wish me luck.

Day 6

Still vegan-ish. Paul put honey on some fruit which technically is not vegan - honey, that is. John says to get nutritional yeast flakes. That's my vegan job today. I googled it and am looking forward to sprinkling it on all kinds of food. Can't believe I had never heard of this unbelievable source of protein before. I know, I am beginning to sound like I drank the Koolaid.

o well.

Day 5

VERY easy day. Ate out twice. May have violated rules at lunch. I ordered a torta (sandwich) at Rancherita's in Fort Worth. No meat. It did have a layer of refried beans which very likely were made with lard, as in pig fat. I ate a full half, then opened the bun on the other half and picked around the beans. For dinner I picked up something from Spiril Diner, a 100 percent vegan restaurant.

The best part of day 5 was playing with Addison and watching her play with Paul. Holy cow. She is the best medicine. She draws the grump right out of you (if you means Paul). She has Paul totally enchanted. The photo above is Addie and Paul. I nag him while he's holding her. "Don't let her head hit..." He gives me the look. I give it back. Then he tells Addison that grandma smells or something like that, and she laughs.

Addison started crawling last week. Slowly, barely moving. But also deliberate in her efforts. On all fours, she put one hand forward, long pause, then move a knee, pause again. Last night, she is officially crawling, still slow, but the movement is less cautious. It's as if she doesn't have to really think about it as much. Her brain has registered the task. I give her two weeks to be off and crawling everywhere. She's still tiny: 15 pounds at 6 months. We are told that is tiny.

Tiny but tuff, just like her mom.

Day 4

3 vegan days down, 18 to go. Piece of cake. If that piece of cake has no eggs, milk or butter. Preferably no oils, applesauce instead.

Happy Tuesday!

Day 3

I think I need to post every day during the 21 day vegan venture. Mostly to remember what day I am on. So far, great. My stomach has been growling but without the craving for food. Neat.

I am not going to get the sabbatical I so wanted. And I think needed. Not without quitting my job or misusing FMLA. Which I have said from the beginning the time off was NOT FMLA, just FML - For Mary Lochridge. I guess you could say I came to my senses yesterday after John weighed in. He and Andrea are of the same opinion: fly to Montana and squeeze in almost a week. Then keep Iowa of course. Maybe, just maybe, they'll let me take 3 weeks off in July. That's my new pitch.

Wish me luck!

I am in love

Yesterday we bought a new kitchen set at a neighborhood garage sale. The old rectangle set with bench is now in the garage. Just like that, it's history. And history is a good word for it. We bought it when we bought this house 17 years ago. So many meals shared around it. So many memories. It's where Grandma Lew disobeyed my direct order NOT to give Baxter some rice krispie treat. Both Grandma and Baxter end up with sticky white frosting on their face. It's also where Grandma and Grandpa L. stood eggs on end during an equinox. It's where all the food was placed for help-yourself barbecues. And birthdays. And holidays. Weddings. Graduations. Of course it's also been Baxter's perch. That all ended yesterday because I fell in love with the dining set for sale at a garage sale. It's were I am sitting now. Paul was sitting here a minute ago with his computer too. Oh. He's back. Nope he's gone again.

Anyway, good bye to our trusty old table set, hello to the new table set and the memories to come!!

Day 2

Yesterday I started a 21-day vegan regimen. Meaning, I will eat vegan for 21 days. I was watching PBS and they had Dr. Neal Barnard and his books as gifts for donating so much to public television. Or as Paul said, an infomercial. The diet really targets diabetes. Still, it makes sense for me too.

This comes on the heels of my Friday appointment with Petal. She cuts and colors my hair. She has gone out on her own and in her new salon she has installed a FULL-LENGTH mirror. Not my best angle. In fact, I try to avoid mirrors.

So the next morning here's Dr. Barnard and his book. I do some additional research (Amazon reviews) and it appears the guy is legit. He is not one of those crack pots who predicts the end of the world AND your colon if you don't buy his stuff. I don't really need to buy his stuff because I buy his premise. And I already donate to KERA monthly for the last 15 years.

So today is Day 2. I know that probably all my family members doubt that I will succeed. I give them that. Look at me. I've tried and failed every past attempt. All I ask is that I get Paul's support and I will not push this on him or anyone else. Keep opinions to myself? Can I really do that?

We'll see. (I won't get my hopes up. Wink.)

Best part of waking up

I used to wake up and think I should be up and exercising. Now I wake up and think I need to get up and blog something. So blogging helps to ease the guilt of not exercising. It's true. I get a buzz from blogging similar to the buzz I get from exercising. A sense of accomplishment you might say. I guess I'm a blog addict.

You may or may not notice that I have taken Paul's name off the blog. The blog has really become my rantings and sometimes they take a leftist turn. The blog started in November after the birth of our granddaughter. At that time, we had no real idea or any real expectations for what this blog would be. First posting is pictures of Addison at the hospital. 80 posts later there's a picture of Sarah Palin wrapped in the American flag. See what I mean about that left turn? Maybe not a good idea to have Paul's name attached to that.

My attraction to Paul in the beginning was his acceptance of who I am and that has never changed. We were an odd match from the beginning. We still are, but that's a BIG part of the attraction. I married him KNOWING he had voted for Nixon. That's true love.

Now, how do I get back to exercising?

Propaganda is propaganda

OK. At first I admit I laughed. Then I thought about it. This can't be real. So I set out to find the truth. I just finished my exhaustive (5 miniutes) investigation of this picture. What appears to be likely the truth: The cross has been photoshopped. The picture of Sarah Palin wrapped in flag is likely real, but an old one taken most likely when she was mayor of Wassilla. Pre-national stage.

I believe the Lewis quote. Of course. That's not the problem. And I'm not a Palin fan, as expressed in previous posting (Going Rogue, 11/15/09 and She's back, 3/29/10). The problem is I'm not a fan of political propaganda. I don't have the stomach for it. Propaganda is propaganda, no matter which side is dishing.

Context is everything when delivering a message. In the right context the above picture and quote work. They're funny, it's political satire. Political cartoon. In the wrong context, such as mass fowarded email, the satire is too far removed. I mean, too many people now think Palin REALLY wrapped herself in the American flag while holding a cross. And that she did it recently. That gives it a whole new meaning. Now we really hate Palin, right? Wow, is she that stupid? No, she is NOT that stupid. Well... in this situation for sure she gets my vote.

Maybe it's my journalism background. I really hate what's happened with truth these days. And I also hate the demise of political satire. There was a news report about that recently. As newspapers lose their influence, political cartoons suffer too. That's sad. I am going to try to remember to post some cartoons from time to time. Like this one:

http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/sarahpalin/ig/Sarah-Palin-Cartoons/Sarah-Palin-Shower.0ztD.htm?r=et

Happy Easter.... misc. musings

Sitting in the backyard on a beautiful day. My kind of beautiful. Cloud coverage so no squinting. I can see my computer monitor. My kind of fun. Paul just went to Walmart to get batteries for some solar rocks. His kind of fun.

A few minutes ago I twisted my ankle and fell. Not hurt. Skinned my knee a little. Bruised my ego too. No one was outside but me and Baxter. Baxter was on top of me immediately. So sweet. We just layed there triage-ing the situation. Nothing hurt.

I found another (in addition to Southern Poverty Law Center) neat website that adds to understanding of so-called Christian militias. It's Religion Dispatches in case the URL below doesn't work.

http://www.religiondispatches.org
/archive/religiousright/2413/%E2%80%98christian_warriors%E2%80%99:_who_are_the_hutaree_militia_and_where_did_they_come_from/

I think Paul is back from Walmart. Gotta go.

News fix

I have started watching news again. After health care passed. Can't get enough of that feeling of victory. I think it actually increased dopamine levels in my brain.

Then comes the news of offshore drilling. Who saw that coming? Brilliant move. And the arrests of the military wannabes. That was less interesting and more scary.

A great website for additional understanding of hate is the Southern Poverty Law Center. They have a "hate map." It lists the groups they have found/tracked by state. Guess which state has the MOST hate groups? Ya. Texas. Now my dopamine levels are down again.

Need a good news fix. Anybody?