Homey don't play that

It was classic Paul. Yesterday we test drove a Grand Cherokee Laredo. We need a new towing vehicle for the RV as Paulie's Challenger and my Liberty won't do. So we are at Don Davis in North Arlington, working with Marcus. Marcus seems like perfectly nice young man. In fact, he says, his mom's name is Mary! What are the odds? Hmmm.

So we have already driven the car, I love it. It's exactly the right specs. Now comes the good part. I'll show you my numbers if you show me yours? Marcus takes our numbers to his boss, 20 minutes later he comes back with an insulting counter. You know how much Paul likes insults. OK. Marcus is doing his job, what he's been told to do, right? He goes back and reports we're about 7 grand apart. Another 10 minutes later Marcus is back WITH boss in tow. The boss has a booming voice, good grip on the handshake, eye contact. His shirt was so white it blinded me for a second. I am certain he sees us as easy marks. He begins with something about "let's agree that this is the right car for you." Shinola from the start. Oh yes. Paul sort of shrugs his shoulders. Boss challenges Paul on this response. At this point, I wish this could be on Pay Per View. Paul then does the unthinkable: he throws me under the bus. It turns out to be good strategy, really. Paul says his opinion doesn't matter because it will be my car. Boss turns to me. Hi. Oh, I love the car. Yes. It's the car for me. Yes, it has everything I want. Really. Back to Paul. Boss tries to explain the numbers to my hunky husband, who is not wearing a blinding white dress shirt, more like paint stained sweatshirt and jeans. Don Davis apparently isn't giving the advertised rebates unless you take the GMAC financing. Oops. No, Paul says, we won't be financing with GMAC for two months, get the rebate, then refinance with our credit union. Wow. Fraud much? Paul: you will have to go way higher on the trade in (they are 4 grand below blue book, it has less than 24,000 miles for cryin' out loud). They leave again. Paul is getting flashbacks from previous purchase at Don Davis. John's car. We are starting to get hungry and maybe a little dehydrated. Whew. This is no longer fun. It's more like Survivor. Paul is Boston Rob and I am Cherie. Boss and Marcus back again. He's got just one figure. It still includes the GMAC financing. Paul: How many times do I have to tell you I don't want the financing? Knock out! Can't you just hear the line from Fargo? I don't want the fucking undercoating (said with heavy accent). It was painful and it was productive. We walked, of course. Then went to lunch at an awesome new restaurant in the Highlands: Mandola, something like that. It's an Italian Deli. It wiped out all the bad.

Lesson learned: Treat people like real people and you may sell them a car.