The Oscar for Most Cherished Friend goes to: Marilyn Revier

My friend Marilyn in South Dakota and I have watched the Oscars together for about 30 years.  It didn't stop when I moved to Texas 25 years ago.  Now our evening starts with a phone call before the show and then more calls during commercials. 


Watching the Oscars with Marilyn is one of the highlights of my year.  Certainly the show itself is nothing to write home about.  This year was no exception: a great opening and closing with a drawn out and punishing middle.  Marilyn is definitely the best part of the show each year.


I feel it is a privilege that this great woman still wants to spend the evening with me.  Her days are filled with friends and family, in and out of her home. I mean she is busy caring for children and grandchildren and neighbors and friends.   Of course the daily traffic is not as heavy as it used to be when she shared her home with Ray, beloved husband and devoted father and grandfather who died a few years back.  As busy as she is, she still sets aside time for an old friend.


Marilyn holds and will always hold a special place in my heart.  I believe she is the reason my family works.   


Paul and I had only each other when our first child was born July 4,1982.  After four years of marriage, we had broken our promise to each other not to have children.   By December 1985, we had broken our promise two more times.  We were now parents to three little ones.


I had some practice with babies, what with babysitting other people's children and younger family members.  Paul had zero practice.  Nada. Bupkis.  And we had no immediate family to turn to for guidance. 


Enter Marilyn.  Our guardian angel ran a home daycare.  She invited us to bring our two week old baby to her home for a meet and greet and then we could make the decision whether this would be where Andrea spent her days.


I am tearing up as I recall first seeing this marvel of a woman.  Mostly I remember how enthusiastic she was about our baby, pointing out this and that, stuff that no one else had noticed.  I hadn't noticed.  She knew all the baby parts and what they were for.  She was amazing.


As I look back, I understand how much I needed someone to show me how to love and care for my children.  That person was Marilyn.  I learned everything about how I wanted my family to be from her.  Not just how and what to feed a toddler or when a rash is serious enough to call the doctor, but the other real stuff of families.  I wanted closeness and conflict and laughter and tears.   I wanted to embrace this entity we had produced and hold onto it and to never let go.  Was that even possible?


Turns out it was.  We are strong as a family today because of Marilyn.  Even though it feels like a lot to pin on one person, I most certainly credit her for showing us the way.  I saw her love her own family almost as much as she loved mine.  Or it felt that way.  We weren't the only family she cared about.  Far from it.  There were hundreds over the years.  So much heart in one single person.  


I love our Oscar nights.  I cherish my dear friend Marilyn.