Monday, December 30, 2013
Goodbye 2013, hello 2014
Goodbye 2013. Hello 2014.
I typically prefer the even-numbered years. Is that weird? I guess just the word "odd" attached to a number puts it at a disadvantage. But, come on, 13. That's the universally worst number of all numbers. Ok, maybe 666 is worse.
So I will be glad to say hello to 2014 in just two days. No worries about forgetting to write the new year on checks because nobody uses checks anymore. Unless it's the stereotypical older woman holding up the grocery line writing one. Annoying because it reflects on all us older women.
Truthfully, I love a new year, odd or even numbered. New years hold promise. Celebrating their arrival gives us pause to look forward and forward is a good direction to be heading...
....especially if you are a young couple expecting child in the spring - Jenny and Michael.
... especially if you are a young couple raising daughters ages 2 and 4 - Andrea and Jack.
... especially if you are a young lawyer at the beginning of a career in public service - John.
I especially look forward to sharing the promise of another new year with my beloved Paulie.
I typically prefer the even-numbered years. Is that weird? I guess just the word "odd" attached to a number puts it at a disadvantage. But, come on, 13. That's the universally worst number of all numbers. Ok, maybe 666 is worse.
So I will be glad to say hello to 2014 in just two days. No worries about forgetting to write the new year on checks because nobody uses checks anymore. Unless it's the stereotypical older woman holding up the grocery line writing one. Annoying because it reflects on all us older women.
Truthfully, I love a new year, odd or even numbered. New years hold promise. Celebrating their arrival gives us pause to look forward and forward is a good direction to be heading...
....especially if you are a young couple expecting child in the spring - Jenny and Michael.
... especially if you are a young couple raising daughters ages 2 and 4 - Andrea and Jack.
... especially if you are a young lawyer at the beginning of a career in public service - John.
I especially look forward to sharing the promise of another new year with my beloved Paulie.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
I will be a burden on my kids and they will like it!
At the end of my life, for the record, I want to be a burden on my children. Just so it's clear. Burden. I want that.
Recently I have been working more and more with older adults and their families. There's a theme or pattern emerging: these folks don't want to be a burden on their children, and in some instances, the children are not so crazy about being burdened. That's the word they use: burden.
Well. The children of the Baby Boomers are in for a whopper of burdening as we continue to age, the oldest among us is about to hit 70. Dementia is just around the corner for many, heart disease already has come calling, and knees and backs gave up years ago... this is not the direction I thought I was going with this blog.
Back to being a burden. Ok. The burden part I could understand IF the parent was a monster. In some cases, children do have a pass on being caregivers to older relatives. But for most of us, we did our best and now we need, or will be needing, a little extra help. I don't call that being a burden. I call that knowing your limits and being able to set aside pride and ask for help. From your children.
I fully intend to rely on my children AND their spouses AND my grandchildren AND, God willing, my grandchildren's spouses. Case in point: I will have to stop driving at some point and fully expect them to come get me for my weekly trip to Braums. I won't be demanding, I hope. They will be given advance notice. I promise to be grateful and buy whatever treat they want. I will be getting the vanilla yogurt in a cone. Small.
Burden. It's such a harsh word to hang on our children; or for them to hang on us. Consider what Thomas a Kempis, 15th Century religious man wrote:
Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble...
Oh, what a wonderful sentiment. I sure hope that's the way my kids feel in about 10-15 years.
Recently I have been working more and more with older adults and their families. There's a theme or pattern emerging: these folks don't want to be a burden on their children, and in some instances, the children are not so crazy about being burdened. That's the word they use: burden.
Well. The children of the Baby Boomers are in for a whopper of burdening as we continue to age, the oldest among us is about to hit 70. Dementia is just around the corner for many, heart disease already has come calling, and knees and backs gave up years ago... this is not the direction I thought I was going with this blog.
Back to being a burden. Ok. The burden part I could understand IF the parent was a monster. In some cases, children do have a pass on being caregivers to older relatives. But for most of us, we did our best and now we need, or will be needing, a little extra help. I don't call that being a burden. I call that knowing your limits and being able to set aside pride and ask for help. From your children.
I fully intend to rely on my children AND their spouses AND my grandchildren AND, God willing, my grandchildren's spouses. Case in point: I will have to stop driving at some point and fully expect them to come get me for my weekly trip to Braums. I won't be demanding, I hope. They will be given advance notice. I promise to be grateful and buy whatever treat they want. I will be getting the vanilla yogurt in a cone. Small.
Burden. It's such a harsh word to hang on our children; or for them to hang on us. Consider what Thomas a Kempis, 15th Century religious man wrote:
Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble...
Oh, what a wonderful sentiment. I sure hope that's the way my kids feel in about 10-15 years.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Where'd July go??
Jenny saving Luna from an attacking Blue Jay. Headshots of two head-strong females: Finley Scott and Ann Richards. One a former governor; the other a future governor??
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Revealing directions
You know when someone is giving you directions (yes, that still happens), they use landmarks that typically have some local importance. At least to them. The landmarks people choose to guide you to a location can tell a lot about that person.
Example. I was picking up my oldest daughter, the athlete and coach, after she dropped her car off at a tire place. The street and location I was familiar with; but I asked her what stores or buildings were close by.
It's across the street from 24 Hour Fitness. That doesn't help me.
Next to the Whole Vitamins and Foods store. Nope. Still not getting anything.
Down the street from Crispy Crème. Now you're talkin' my language. I know just where that is.
I still remember when we first moved to Arlington 23 years ago, and we were signing up Andrea for soccer. Where are the fields, we naively asked? Just behind the Hypermart. What's a Hypermart, I wondered but dare not ask because the person said it in such a way that only a fool would not know the location of Hypermart. Hypermart, it turned out, used to be what Walmart called its superstores. Now it just sounds like a mental disorder.
I visit people in their homes and always get funny kinds of directions. Even though no one needs it anymore what with GPS, it still is important that people, generally older adults, give directions to their home. It usually starts with something like this: You know where the Exxon station is on the corner across from the fire house?
How do you answer that? I lie. I say I know or I think I know. It's about building their trust and certainly to some people, not knowing the location of the Exxon station across from the fire house could be cause for suspicion. It's also is about gaining immediate insight into a client. The reliance on landmarks may reveal a person who has spent most of their lives in a relatively small area. Their universe is what's around them. And in this example, it was an Exxon station across from the fire house.
Anyway ... I better wrap up this post, I gotta get going to see my first client for today. The one that you take a left at the strip club and a right at the liquor store....
Example. I was picking up my oldest daughter, the athlete and coach, after she dropped her car off at a tire place. The street and location I was familiar with; but I asked her what stores or buildings were close by.
It's across the street from 24 Hour Fitness. That doesn't help me.
Next to the Whole Vitamins and Foods store. Nope. Still not getting anything.
Down the street from Crispy Crème. Now you're talkin' my language. I know just where that is.
I still remember when we first moved to Arlington 23 years ago, and we were signing up Andrea for soccer. Where are the fields, we naively asked? Just behind the Hypermart. What's a Hypermart, I wondered but dare not ask because the person said it in such a way that only a fool would not know the location of Hypermart. Hypermart, it turned out, used to be what Walmart called its superstores. Now it just sounds like a mental disorder.
I visit people in their homes and always get funny kinds of directions. Even though no one needs it anymore what with GPS, it still is important that people, generally older adults, give directions to their home. It usually starts with something like this: You know where the Exxon station is on the corner across from the fire house?
How do you answer that? I lie. I say I know or I think I know. It's about building their trust and certainly to some people, not knowing the location of the Exxon station across from the fire house could be cause for suspicion. It's also is about gaining immediate insight into a client. The reliance on landmarks may reveal a person who has spent most of their lives in a relatively small area. Their universe is what's around them. And in this example, it was an Exxon station across from the fire house.
Anyway ... I better wrap up this post, I gotta get going to see my first client for today. The one that you take a left at the strip club and a right at the liquor store....
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Taking the plunge
End of the school year always feels special. I guess because my two daughters are teachers, I still get to share in that feeling. Thursday is Jenny's last day with her kindergarten class. She says it will be tough to say goodbye. Andrea is helping with high school graduation on Saturday, then she should be done.
Parents can kick back and relax a little. No homework. No projects due. Laundry is not as important (or was that just me?)
In the south the heat slows things down, too.
This summer I have made a special promise to myself to go to my city's spectacular water park - in a swimsuit! Vanity be damned.
That place holds some of my best memories of the kids when they were little. Also of Paul and me having fun. There's this funnel slide that took my breath away. Literally. Paul and I shared a tube and all the terrifying way down, I could not stop laughing and I couldn't catch my breath. I can close my eyes and feel what I felt that day some 20 years ago. It was exhilarating!
I don't necessarily want to repeat that experience, but I do want to play in the water park. I miss it and it's about time I get over myself and embrace my expanded body. It's my stupid false pride and the delusion that I would lose the weight that has kept me away.
Not this summer!
Parents can kick back and relax a little. No homework. No projects due. Laundry is not as important (or was that just me?)
In the south the heat slows things down, too.
This summer I have made a special promise to myself to go to my city's spectacular water park - in a swimsuit! Vanity be damned.
That place holds some of my best memories of the kids when they were little. Also of Paul and me having fun. There's this funnel slide that took my breath away. Literally. Paul and I shared a tube and all the terrifying way down, I could not stop laughing and I couldn't catch my breath. I can close my eyes and feel what I felt that day some 20 years ago. It was exhilarating!
I don't necessarily want to repeat that experience, but I do want to play in the water park. I miss it and it's about time I get over myself and embrace my expanded body. It's my stupid false pride and the delusion that I would lose the weight that has kept me away.
Not this summer!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Dallas Arboretum: A pictorial
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Paulie took me to the Dallas Arboretum. My favorite pic of the day.
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| Paulie and his newest best friend, who looks a lot like me, hanging buttocks and all. |
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| Several 15 year olds were taking their quinceanera pics. Even among the flowers, their colorful dresses stood out! |
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| I wish you could feel this plant. Think velvet! |
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| One of the many great hallways. |
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